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The Origin Of Stress And The Cure

On Sunday, February 13th, I was lecturing a group of mothers, and the topic was “The Origin of Stress and How to Alleviate It.” When we started getting to the root of the issue, I asked the group these questions:

“What are the origins of stress?”

These were some of the answers- worry, time constraints, finance, physical, emotional, and spiritual pressures.

When we examined these, we discovered that we produce stress by putting pressure on ourselves. We resist our feelings, denying and repressing them. We are overly demanding, harsh, and critical towards ourselves, and we are careless regarding our true needs. Ultimately, stress is a result of a lack of true self-care. I then asked the second question, “You are all dedicated mothers but:

“Are you mothering yourselves”?

As we discovered in our discussion, most of us are not doing a great job in taking care of ourselves; and we all should. The better mothering we provide for ourselves, the better mothering we’re able to extend to our children and loved ones.


I continued by explaining that in my method, the Gates of Power® Method, I am defining three aspects that compromise our inner being:

1. The Emotional Self; 2. The Defensive Self; and 3. The Expanded Self.

The emotional part of ourselves is repressed and criticized by our survival-oriented and over-protective Defensive Self. The Defensive Self tries hard to “make us” loveable, successful, and perfect. It is trying to compensate for a lack of self-esteem and emotional vulnerability. Naturally, it is more concerned with our image and others’ approval of us than our well-being. Doing so, ends up stressing us. Our Expanded Self, the third aspect, is the wise, loving, and healing aspect. It is the one that should lead our lives. In the Gates Of Power® Method, participants learn to access their Expanded Self and use its skills to relax the Defensive Self and free the Emotional Self. In other words, ideally, the Expanded Self should be the parent, coach, and guide of the other two. We all must learn the art and the craft of inner parenting to establish real peace and balance. We are better communicators when we communicate lovingly with ourselves.


I invite you to treat yourself to a 30-minute FREE consultation. A consultation that would put you on the path to claiming your true self.


You can reach Nomi Bachar at, 212-877-0346, Schedule a Free 30-minute call here.


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