This morning in my Yoga practice, I found myself drifting away from the
world of my sensations, to the world of my thoughts. The world of
sensations and emotions is rich, vibrant, and colorful, while the world
of thoughts can be flat and two-dimensional.
“Why am I here?” I asked myself every time I caught myself in the
world of thoughts. Then I would tap myself on the shoulder, so to
speak like my old Zen master used to do to us, and say “Back to the
moment you go.”
In this morning’s Yoga practice, I had to guide myself back to the experience
of being, over and over and over again. The habit of hiding away from
life, in the cocoon of our thoughts is strong. Somewhere in the past, a
threat, a painful or scary experience, had caused us to contract. We
shrunk away from our life force and from our moment-to-moment
Then we became trapped in our safe smallness and allowed our minds
to entertain thoughts about life, instead of living it. In the thinking
world, our breath is shallow, our energy moves slowly and sluggishly,
our emotions are not fully experienced or expressed, and our thinking
mind gets fatter and fatter. So now what?
First, one must ask oneself, “Do I want to live here, in this thinking
world, or do I want to return to the living world?” Many choose to stay;
some choose to return. If you choose to come back to living, get ready
to master a fierce commitment to regain your aliveness. It is a moment-
to-moment choice to feel, to allow the energy to move, to accept what
is there, to surrender, and to let yourself slowly expand through the ups
and downs of emotions, energy, and sensations.
Slowly and surely, you become comfortable with living, and the river
that is your being begins to merge into the universal grand flow.
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