Mothers give us unconditional love as much as they can. Sometimes they themselves are burdened with anxiety, insecurities and the fight for survival. When I was a young child my mother was struggling to maintain the basic survival structure. My dad was severely wounded in the independence war in Isreal and had suffered from extreme post-traumatic stress. My mom felt overwhelmed and lost. She was not truly emotionally available to us kids. I personally did not feel mothered as a young child, in fact, I had to grow up much too fast since I needed to help my mother continuously and take care of her and my siblings. Later in life, I had many heart-to-heart conversations with my mom about my childhood and my feelings of then. In these conversations, I was extremely lucky to find compassion and deep understanding in my mother. My mother made a conscious and committed effort from then on to be loving, attentive and non-judgemental. I began to feel like I finally had a mother. We became each other's best friends chatting about anything and everything that was happening in our lives, laughing, joking and creating delightful silly moments. I felt the profound care and unconditional love of a mother and it had a tremendously healing effect on me. My mom became later in life my inspiration. She was imaginative, creative, and fun-loving with a heart that was open to people, animals and life. When she died I lost my very best friend. Nevertheless, I feel her spirit with me all the time and as the years have passed, I realise my connection with her had never been severed. I remember the words I spoke at her burial. "Mom, you taught us to cling to life. To live it fully and passionately. To stand up for what we feel is right. To dream big and go for it. To find joy and love everywhere we go, and let them nurture us. Most importantly, to trust the loving and guiding hand of God and the innate goodness of his universe. Thank you for the bright light you left within our souls, and the path you illuminated just by being yourself."
Comments