Am I Going To Be Here The Next Moment?

It might be that I aged, slowed down, and sobered up. Or it might be that I finally have clarity, that I have washed off all the mind and heart mud and can finally be present here in this experience called life. The bittersweetness of it is penetrating, almost daggering, and softly embracing all at once. 

After my cancer surgery, I was sitting with a friend who was struggling with cancer. The struggle has stripped all his walls, masks, and hiding tunnels. He is alive now more than ever, even while in a frail and withering body. Another friend struggling with cancer looked at me across the table with a soft and glowing smile lighting her face, a beautiful face that wrinkled overnight.

She surrendered to the love and support of others and learned to take in love; sickness takes us there. I knew exactly how they felt; I had experienced the profound changes that take place inside the soul when you encounter death.

Then, there are the shootings and the bombs. One moment, someone you love is there, and in the next, they’re gone. Each and every moment is beaming with preciousness, and I am feeling their pulse as if for the first time. Life and death mixed inseparably – what is there to be, to do, to have? 

Just experience one moment after another. Stay open, touch, feel, see, and accept. We can keep creating from the heart, give and receive and just enjoy the gift of being alive. In one fleeting moment, it can all change.

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