• Nomi Bachar

Traits of Good Communicators

a couple talking on a park bench

To succeed in any area of life, to reach your potential and find fulfillment, you

must become a good communicator. Take it upon yourself to cultivate the connector/ communicator within you. Your Expanded Self is a wise and a compassionate communicator. That part of you is the best communicator out of all three parts within your being (Emotional Self, Expanded Self, Defensive Self). Let it guide you in all of your relationships. Keep the following tips in mind as you seek to improve your communications:

  • Be the cause. Stay present, which means both committing to creating mutual understanding, mutual benefit, and mutual enjoyment and taking responsibility for the success of the communication.

  • Keep an open mind and heart. Be flexible, ready to learn, and ready to see things in a new way.

  • Focus on the other person. Focus on the other person and see their value.

  • Find common ground. Learn to see things from the other’s perspective. Even if, or when, you have a different opinion.

  • Be authentic and clear. Use all five channels—thoughts, emotions, words, physical expression, and action.

  • Be a contributor. Find how you can help, support, inspire, create change, or express affection.

  • Use humor. Playful enjoyment can contribute to almost all communications.

Here are 10 commandments for successful communication that will enhance your relationships and life.

  1. Know yourself. Use your Expanded Self to observe and guide your other two aspects. Find out how you feel, what you need, what you believe in, so that you can communicate it.

  2. Commit to creating connections. Take responsibility for the success of your communications. Be the cause, the initiator, the giver.

  3. Avoid reactivity. When faced with strong emotions and intense reactions, take a minute to figure yourself out. Get clear and strive to create a constructive way to communicate.

  4. Cultivate empathic listening. Extend that to yourself and others. Empathy helps you understand and accept. It enhances transformation and change.

  5. Be clear. Be authentic and expressive, and use the Four Magic “I’s.”

  6. Show appreciation. Do whatever you can to validate your partner(s). Use listening and mirroring skills, and show respect and consideration. You can still maintain your beliefs and go for them. One has nothing to do with the other.

  7. Be reliable. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Integrity cultivates mutual trust.

  8. Learn to negotiate. Create win/win situations. It is best for all involved.

  9. Tap into your humor and playfulness. Bring enjoyment into your communications.

  10. Let go of the need to be right, in control, or on top. Connection and the exchange of understanding are so much more fulfilling. Communication is an art. Keep experimenting and go through the trials and tribulations. You will come to enjoy it, and so will all who come in contact with you.

If you want to be a better communicator, I invite you to work with me to create more fulfilling relationships in your life. Book your FREE 30-minute consultation.