Communicating with the Ones You Love
The following is an excerpt from my new book, Let The Heart Speak and is available here!
Love is undoubtedly the most life-giving, transforming and inspiring experience within the realm of existence. When asked, most people would put love on top of their list of most important elements. Family and being connected with our loved ones give us a profound sense of fulfillment and meaning. When we are honest with ourselves, in the silent moments, we recognize that life without loving relationships is empty, cold, and desert-like. No matter how successful we are in our career, no matter how financially affluent we are, well traveled or socially recognized; our hearts will not be truly joyous or fulfilled without love.
The simple daily interactions with the people that care about us, keep us going. The love that we feel and express towards others generates an inner energy in us; thus, inspiring us to create and expand. Love is truly the motivating force behind all creation and its healing ability manifests in all aspects of life.
So why is it that we are not able to communicate constructively with the people we love most? The answer is simple. The experience of love can be divided into two elements: the inner emotion of love, and the ability to actually express it. Many times we feel the love, but we don’t have the tools and the practice to articulate the feeling in a way that would enhance the connection. Communication skills need to be learned and practiced. Meanwhile, since we’re not receiving this training as part of our ‘education’, we need to do everything possible to acquire these skills ourselves.
If you want your life to be rich, enjoyable and passionate; you need to cultivate your relationships. Investing in positive and loving relationships yields the highest emotional return.
One of the most important elements in cultivating loving relationships is communication. Most of us struggle with finding our emotional voice. Sometimes it’s because we are scared to speak from our heart, or we don’t know what the heart wants. Other times we get stuck in our pride and defensiveness.
The keys to communication are simple as long as we remember to use them. Below are some tips derived from my 10 Commandments for Successful Communication:
Commit to creating connections. Take responsibility for the success of your communications. Be the cause, the initiator, the giver.
Cultivate empathic listening. Extend that to listening to yourself and others. Empathy helps you understand and accept. It enhances transformation and change.
Avoid reactivity. When faced with strong emotions and intense reactions, take a minute to figure yourself out. Get clear and strive to create a constructive way to communicate.
Learn to negotiate. Create win-win situations. It is best for all those involved.
Show appreciation. Do whatever you can to validate your loved ones. Use listening and mirroring skills, show respect and consideration. You can still maintain your beliefs and stand up for them. One has nothing to do with the other
Communication is an art. Keep experimenting and go through the trials and tribulations. Not only will your loved ones enjoy it, but you will enjoy it as well. Isn’t that the goal – to be happy, open, and expressive?